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and everything seemed to be going so well. i suppose it's because i've been so out of my mind lately, it makes me practically useless as a woman. it makes me think horrible and not even dare to speak it, which is the worst. these are the breaks, doll. it seems like just yesterday when i was shouting and laughing with the pure, hateful, bloodthirsty joy. if i keep holding out like this things will get really nasty. but i won't get tired. and i won't crack. i've done some dumb things. and seeing as how he's one of those dumb things, he shouldn't give me such a hard time. but sometimes he does. and for a hot minute i gave him the hard goodbye. and he didn't really like that. a couple nights plucked out he stared at a goddess and he didn't waste time wondering how he got so lucky. i smelled like angels out to smell and i was the perfect woman...i was golden. i could be mistaken but i do believe i left him more dead than alive. he made me hate myself. i suppose we gave each other a taste of his own medicine. then again, i'm just warming up.