this too shall pass

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and it's back to me, myself and kat. i'm not mad, i'm not sad - if anything, i'm a little disappointed. in myself, sure, but moreso in the situation. how terrible for this doll, dig? i have learned. i'm pushing him as far away from myself as i possibly can. i would love nothing more than if i never saw his face, heard his voice or felt his touch ever again. never again. what a mistake this all was. i come back from a year in solitary confinement and the first person who sets sight on my sugarlips ends up ripping out every shred of mental dignity i have left. there is no self esteem. and this is straight truth i'm speaking here. i don't believe i've ever had to deal with something like this. but i tried my best. shagged tail out of there faster than you could fuckin' blink an eye. and in the morning? two words and i was gone again. i don't need this. i don't need any of his petty bullshit. and it's all him, you know that, right? it's all him. he's got problems up to fucking here, and i'm done. done with a d. i have no self esteem, no energy, i feel like a frumpy piece of garbage, shit on the sidewalk and as usual, there's no doobies for me to smoke. so, yeah, i'm in a terrible mood. how dare he. how fucking dare he. did he not weigh the situation? did he not think? probably. i don't really give a fuck anymore. i'm tired of talking about him. it's always about him and never about me. i suppose i just had to get it out of my system.