THIS WEKE: A FREND IN NEDE IS A FREND INDEED

THIS WEKE: A FREND IN NEDE IS A FREND INDEED
i arsk you gentel reders wot is WORSE than a new BEST MADE eh? one minute you are mear AQANTANCES on the busey circuit of life. a cherey hullo here a quick NOSE UPP there and perhapps some CAUSAL SEXUAL INTECORSE when yor paths cross i.e. under the moon and stars in rehabb or behind binns at the DALSTON SWEETS SHOP.
five minuits later and sudenly you are ON CALL 24 SEVEN o doll i hav run out of gere o doll i am in jale i need a CUDEL o doll i hav lost the SKY PLUS REMOAT perhaps it is somewhere in yer behive o doll i am sad how about a PARP on the old GLASS TROMBONE eh?
IT GO ON FOREVER AND FEELS LUVLY CHIZ CHIZ.
yes you hav guest it since street sensasion COOL BREEZE hav enterd my social CIRCEL there hav bene no peace for the wicked i.e. your felow suffererr kat.
BRRRRING!! BRRRRING! go the fathful tele o doll come and see me it is the PINACEL i nede you and donot forget the 'sunderies' pip pip.
i put £3 pounds on OISTER CARD then TRECK down to the northeast side of the city to see him stumble round like a newborn GIRAF crying and slurring i mene he realy was all over the shop also the doll DEDICAIT every hit to the dredful graspeing wede COOL BREEZE wich make everyone go boo hiss hanging is too good for him he is a roter we diskard him and this make him cry even more. this the DOLL did NOT liek.
TO CAP IT ALL wen i venture to oofer my words of wisdom hem hem i am AKOSTED by the moon who sa he is not done with me yet wot a larf i repli and point to him who is hoovering up all the 'NASAL BEER' like ther is no tomorrow wich in her case ma be true an quikly moved to foiles. at this i wack him in the GOB and turf out onto the COLD STRETES.
all this EFORT and i donot even get a BLOWIE is there no DESENSY LEFT?
2 days later BRRRING!! BRRRING! o doll i am leaving and nevr coming bak to this creul place get yorself round here sharpish and donot forget the PICK ME UPS. it is 4am in the morning but a frend in nede you kno the rest so off i go. CHEZ BRISE turn out to be a swag ponk a bit coo ur gosh cuough cuough.
it do not take long for all he owns is a give me al yer trees full of blackie moons an awful lot of SILVER PAPER and 100000000000 binbags full of empty canns.
as we travel thruough the strets of the east and i atempt to cover the teribel STANES on my trousers with a copey of baby baby baby maggazine he turn to me and WHIMPER...
'doll,' he sa, 'i'm not done wif you yet...'
with a hevy HART this doll lower her eeys an her hands begin to shhake....